It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
