they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
