Non-Jews are for practice
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
did i walk over a car last night?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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