I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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