so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
