I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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