I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
