yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
