another moral hangover. fuck.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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