I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
