dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
