it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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