So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
