Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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