chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
