Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
