so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
