Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
