They should really pass out barf bags in church
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
