Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
