I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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