Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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