I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
he puts the penis in happiness.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Randomize
