shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
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