There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
