booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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