marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i think my mom watched the whole time
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
i think my cat just said my name.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
