Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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