i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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