At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
