this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
May the power of my ass compel you!!
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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