I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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