I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
