i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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