I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
