then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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