Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
