my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
