So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
