ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
My balls are so social today.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
