You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
