What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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