I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I don't deserve a penis
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
