I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
