when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
