either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
