I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
