i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I can't trust your balls anymore.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
