your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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