2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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