Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
