so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
