We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
