maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
